The Missing Earwax By Thalia

I woke up on a Tuesday morning. I couldn't figure out why my bed was so uncomfortable and lumpy. I jumped out and lifted up the matress. Sitting under that ginormous pillow was a 40 tonne piece of....EARWAX! It was disgusting! Who did that belong to because it was not mine! But just as I was about to spew, lying there with it was..... BUFFALO POO! How could it get worse?

"Hey Mum!" I shouted, "I'm just going to Simon's across the road, bye!"
"But... Never mind," she sighed becuase I was already gone. We were on a holiday at Uncle John's house, well actually Uncle John's farm.

Simon was really curious.
"It wasn't me. We do not have any buffalos," he replied. "Try Rachael's," he continued. "She has a buffalo farm."
"OK," I replied.

When I got to Rachael's I had a little chat with her. I was about to talk to her about the not-yet-found intruder. Then I realised she couldn't hear what I was saying because she had no ears. She had sent them to her artistic boyfriend, Picasso. It wasn't worth it so I ditched her. I gave up.

All of a sudden Professor Earman walked into the door. "Excuse me," he started. "I left my precious earwax and buffalo poo here yesterday."
"You came into our house!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "You are the intruder!"
"Sorry," continued Professor Earman. "I am a sleepwalker."

I didn't know if I could trust him so I had to have revenge. A few nights later I threw one of my boogers at the bottom of his bed and that was it.